Wow... I just realized...

That I haven't updated you about my weight loss in quite some time! Well, I have wonderful news...

Since started in June at 360 lbs, I've lost 70 lbs!!!! SEVENTY!!!! HOLY FARK! I am now 292 lbs!!!

The change has been incredible, both on the inside AND the outside. I'm the smallest I've been since before I was 16! My family hasn't seen me in a whole year now, and they probably wouldn't recognize me! (ok far stretch but you get the point!)

Yesterday I went shopping and bought a new wardrobe. Talk about reward! Luckily my sister get's a 50% discount and was nice enough to buy the clothes for me! Happy birthday to meee!(Nov 28)

I kind of had to buy a new wardrobe. I went from a size 26-28 to a size 20-22! again, holy fark! I didn't buy TOO much, because, of course I do plan on continuing this success. The last month though, I haven't been dieting. In fact I've been treating myself to nummy things here and there. I am happy to say I have been able to maintain my weight!

If you want to lose weight, if you really really want it, you can do it too!!! I'll be your support buddy!

Thanks Giving, and delicious food!

I was writing a facebook status update to express what I am thankful for this T-day, but there was just SO much it wouldn't all fit. Then suddenly remembered I have this pretty cool blog where I can type out my thoughts and you could read them if you felt so inclined. Since you are reading this right now, let's make that my first thing to be thankful for. Clearly you care enough about me in some way to be reading this! So thank you for caring.

I can't even begin to express how much I miss my family. They are my life, not a day goes by that I don't long to be home just lounging around the house hanging out with the fam. Needless to say I am thankful for them, Daddy, Mommy, step mom, sisters, brother, aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins... Who the hell cares how we're related! We're blood and that is always thicker than water.

My Friends. There have been times in my life that I lock myself away, play anti social, and just want to be alone. I guess most people go through periods like that, but no matter what my friends have been there for me. You see, I select my friends very carefully. I could count my true friends on my hands, and each one is a friend for a reason. Liser and Mandee, my best gals growing up! We may not talk daily, we may not see eachother for two years, but a true friend is someone you can talk to after 6 months and pick up right where you left off. That is us. All my Peace River friends, you are truly amazing. You've seen me at one of the lowest points in my life, near the beginning of my time here, yet you still stood by me and you were there for me. Thank you for that, amazing how much can change in two years eh?  My Peace River Family, aka the Rennies.... Andrea took me into her home as a room mate and into her life as a friend when I needed it most and her family seems to have accepted me as one of them, I am super thankful for that! Chrissy, you're a pretty amazing person and are raising an amazing son. I appreciate your friendship. Dan, Tim, Jill and Bree. You've been there for me since day one, quite literally! I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you for the kindness and friendship you've shown me. Jennie, you know who you are. I'd been experiencing a serious lack of girlfriends and you fill that void quite nicely! I love clucking with you on so many levels, and really appreciate your friendship! Also, my man, Ron. What an adventure we're experiencing, and everyday just gets better than the one before. I have butterflies in my stomach when I see you, and when we're apart. Ah young love eh? *barf* but you're also showing me that it's *ok* to be romantic, to open up, and... if you break my heart I'll beat you up! hehe <3

Whew, Congrats if you are still reading this, but there is more!

All my coworkers, am I ever thankful for you! I came to PRB two years ago, fresh out of college with  A LOT of learning to do. It was a struggle for the first year,  you put up with a lot while I figured shit out. If it wasn't for that, I may not be here today. I've improved myself on so many levels while being here because of your patience! I am so proud of myself for how far I've come since starting here, and I have you to thank!
I LOVE MY JOB!!! Thank you to those who have supported me along the way, being mentors, teaching me, and believing in me!! Craig, Iain, Rob, Mike.

So as you can see, I have a tremendous amount to be thankful for in my life, I have never felt so blessed...
and to top it all off, I've lost 60 LBS since June!! Hell frickin yea!!! Thankful to myself for getting off my ass and doing something about it! Still going baby! You just wait till you see me again Ottawa, you wont know what hit ya! ^.^

*takes a deep breath after pouring out her heart and soul*

Thank you, for reading and I hope you have just as much if not more to be thankful for this t-day!

And let's not forget to be thankful for all the yummy delicious food we'll be eating this weekend!!! YUMMMM!

-Diva

It's not ok!

IF YOU    ARE A HATER. IF YOU JUDGE SOMEONE FOR WHO THEY ARE, WHAT THEY ARE, BECAUSE THEY ARE DIFFERENT FROM YOUR IDEALS, BECAUSE THEY LOOK DIFFERENT, ACT DIFFERENT, SOUND DIFFERENT. IF YOU SHUN PEOPLE WHO DON'T SHARE YOUR OPINIONS... LISTEN, PEOPLE ARE DYING!!!!! THEY ARE DYING AND BULLYING IS GETTING WORSE NOT BETTER. IT STARTS WITH YOU! IT STARTS WITH ME! IN SCHOOLS, IN WORK PLACES, KIDS, ADULTS, ITS HAPPENING EVERYWHERE. TAKE A STAND AGAINST IT! LET'S MAKE A DAMN DIFFERENCE! WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER. YOU SEE SOMEONE BEING BULLIED? STEP IN! LET PEOPLE KNOW ITS NOT OK TO BULLY!

Yes I am yelling! Yes I am pissed off! You should be too!

WOOO FREAKIN HOOOO!

Hey hey! Life is good. Life is great! AND I have been maintaining my weight loss pretty damn good since I've not been watching what I eat etc. That is a great feeling. It basically means when I do reach my goal, I'll be able to stay at my goal. I'm loving it! Starting back up strong next week, the weightloss should pick right back up where I left off. So excited! My goal is to be in size 18 jeans by January. Already I'm fitting into some size 20s! Also, my overall goal weight wise is a size 16 or best case scenario size 14. I will ALWAYS have some meat on these here bones, because I think a nice, smooth plump body is HAWT!

I'll start back up with more frequent updates when my weight finally goes somewhere.

Talk soon!

Guffaw and mondays with no capitals!

Tuesday morning, you deserve kind treatment. You are not as harsh as the day before, that deserves to be kicked in the teeth. Yes, that day when you wake up tired from having entirely too much fun  over the weekend, you have to kick your ass into gear to get going and it takes nearly all day. monday I hate you, and you will no longer get the special treatment in being capitalized.

Whew, now that THAT is out of the way... HELP!!! I've fallen off the bandwagon! It all started a week ago, I started letting things slide food wise. Not overeating, or doing bad with junkfood, I've just stopped being careful. While that is bad, it could also be beneficial. I'm going for a weigh in on Wednesday (note Wednesday also gets the special treatment). What the last week will have taught me is this: Can I stop being so careful and maintain my success so far? It is a very good question to have answered. If I lost more while not even paying attention, then GREAT. If I stayed the same, well at least I know I can maintain this when I reach my goal, but if I gained then I'll learn that I really can never stop paying attention to what is going into my body.

So, while I kinda sorta have been not so good this past week and a bit, it will be a good learning experience. To address the other issue, I stopped going to the freakin gym! The motivation went dooown, mainly because I get so easily bored usint the machines...

Maybe what I'll do... I have a stationary bike at a friends, I'll stick it in front of the tv at home and cycle for an hour a night...this could work!

ooooh one last thing... I'm not sure if I should be embarassed to talk about this, or thrilled, but I've noticed guys are hitting on me all the time these days! A great feeling I tell ya, this weekend alone I had a selection between three very handsom men. *laughs* That is all I will say. Coming up: Diva vs Dime

Lights! Camera! ACTION!

So Peace Players is the local theatre here in Peace River, and they put on some pretty amazing shows. I've been here for two years, and thought it is finally time to get involved! I went to audition! Now, it's the first audition I've had in a very long time so... it didn't go so smooth, and there are only 3 female parts in the play.

Can you even picture me, the Diva as being nervous?! I know, neither did I, but I was and I flunked the audition (well not so much flunked, just Sue Grey is pretty damn good if I do say so myself!), and she got the part. "No big deal", I told the director. Try and try again right?! I'll keep trying, there will be one in the spring, AND I'm doing one acts in February.

I really have to say I am impressed with how well I handle rejection, maybe because I'm used to it *snickers* just teasing. I was however, offered the opportunity to be stage director (you know, the crazy lady with a headset running around making sure everyone is where they should be...yea I can see myself as that person!)

The way I see it, doing this will involve me in the lifestyle that is theatre, help me learn, and better myself for the next audition!

Wish me luck!

P.S. The one acts in February are totally awesome, and I know the one I 'm in is freakin hilarious, I hope you can make it!

Ahh, Long Weekends!

What an excitement packed long weekend it was! I'll admit that yesterday (Monday) I was hurting pretty bad and slept most of the day away. I played SIX slow pitch games in 2 days... You would think slow pitch isn't that strenuous, but really I never stretch and extend myself that much EVER. Caught a few sweet outs, an have learned that I, the Diva, apparently like hard balls. *snickers*

This all took place out in Dixonville and the team I was playing for came in 4th place. I will not, however, tell you out of how many teams we placed fourth. Damien Gnass AKA the Master of Gnasster, the team coach awarded me with "the best Diva" award and "the person who helped out at crunch time". That was pretty awesome of him, of course, everyone on the team was given an award. I look forward to filling in for Hitz Trucking slow pitch team in the future!

Of course I was brave and went out Saturday night, when we had a ball game at 11am on Sunday morning...I won't lie, I was pretty "happy" on "diet cokes" but still managed to get my ass out to the field on time, and no hangover to boot!

Long weekends rock. In fact, I think every weekend should be a long weekend. I will have to see about adding that to my contract, though somehow I don't think it'll fly.

Loss.

It's always hard to find out someone you cared about has passed away. People around you just don't know how to console you, and chances are they can't anyways. That is why I try to save my "I'm sorry for your loss", and tuck it far far away where it will never be heard.

Sometimes being a shoulder, and holding someone that is mourning is the best thing you could do for them. How many times do you think that person you are consoling has heard "I'm sorry for your loss" in the days following a tragic event? I've experienced loss, and after the 5th time hearing it, I don't even want to be around people anymore.

Today, the world has lost an amazing person. He was going to shortboard to edmonton in support of cancer research. He leaves behind a family and many many friends. I can only imagine the pain they are going through. I never had the luck of meeting this amazing person, but so many of my friends have, and knew him well. I am hurting right now, because they are hurting. I am saddened, and crying, because my hearts aches for their loss.

If you are mourning right now, I won't say I'm sorry, but I will be a shoulder. I'm here for you if you need an ear, and most importantly I am sharing in your pain.

Rest In Peace Curtis Marshall. Your life has brought hope to many, and your death has sent ripples through this town.

Progress from June 1st to Sept 2nd

The Journey

I've been overweight all my life. Honestly, I think it all started at the age of four, but it didn't get seriously unhealthy until my teenage years, where I ballooned to 350lbs!! 

Let’s back track before we move forward. It was hard being an overweight child. My earliest memories of my weight being an issue were in grade school. I was alienated because of my weight (and because my momma dressed me funny). I had few friends, and let me tell you, kids can be cruel!

I remember my first neighbourhood; I had a few close friends on the block. We’d always hang out, play, and have wonderful times… You know what happened to each of my friends? They made new friends, and those new friends were mean. They teased, and made sure no one hung out with me.

Fast forward a few years to junior high, kids weren’t as mean, but it was difficult to make close friends for me because I’d been hurt so many times before. I became a “floater” myself and one friend whom I allowed close would walk around the school yard from clique to clique, hung out for a few minutes then left just as fast as we’d gotten there.

High school, well that was tough as well. A time when girls worry about flirting with boys, getting good grades, and becoming cheerleaders. I was even silly enough to try out for the cheerleading squad myself. Well guess what happened? Right, I didn’t make it.

16 years old, I finally set a goal to lose some weight. I was at my heaviest then, 350 lbs. I managed to lose 50 lbs but it was HARD. I hated it. I wanted to eat all the time, and struggled. My grandmother, whom I lived with then and was very close to passed away that year, and I gave up. It was a slow decline but it was a decline none the less.

College: ah my niche, where you finally fit in with a group of like minded people. It was alright, nothing serious but I just could never be comfortable in my own skin. I’d had one boyfriend throughout college, and he was much older than I, it just didn’t work out. We both had our own issues to deal with and coming together we were like fire and water.

So I graduated college and headed off into the world, carrying triple the weight than I should have been carrying. I trudged along, doing the best I could but never really being happy. Hey, I work in radio. I’m supposed to be bubbly, outgoing, happy… and to everyone else, I was. Did I mention I’m a great actress? Deep down I hated crowds, couldn’t stand to be in large groups, I was just uncomfortable in my own skin.

Let me tell you something. I’ve been unhappy, and unhealthy for years, but I’ve never been really driven to make the change, the dedication of a healthy lifestyle. That was until I reached an all time low (or high) of 360 lbs. I was beside myself; I was having knee problems, constant pain in my right knee. I wasn’t me. And I was SICK of it!

It’s definitely a big lifestyle change to lose weight. Being as unhappy and unhealthy as I was, I decided I needed help, I mean a doctor’s help. A couple of my friends had done the HCG diet through Dr. De Wet in Mclennan, and it worked for them so I took the plunge.

Let me tell you something. I may have had help losing some weight; it was just the jump start I needed to start leading a healthier, happier lifestyle. I don’t eat junk food, I stick to whole grains, and I’m eating healthy, working out, and taking care of myself. I’ve lost 50 lbs since June 1^st, and dropped 4 pant sizes! I’m happier, even though I’m not at my goal weight yet. People have noticed the change in my appearance, the way I hold myself, the way I dress, the way I act. My confidence is 100% and heck, I have complete strangers walking up to me to tell me how great I look!

I may not be there yet, but I am well on my way, and let me tell you something… There ain’t no stopping this Diva!